January 2009
I feel like a fuck up. But I’m happy in the weirdest way. I’m pissed I have to go to summer school for english which is why I feel like a fuck up. But on the other hand I’m estatic to know what I want to do in life. Like actually have a plan. I’ve said multiple things that I’ve wanted to do with my life and I never knew how to fit them all together or decide what I...
You came to me yesterday You whispered ‘I’m sorry’ But that doesn’t mean anything At least not for tonight
I told you to leave But you won’t turn away This isn’t fair and you know You know that this is true
But tonight you need to turn your back You need to let me be Because I can’t look at your face Without thinking of her For once just listen to me I...
English has proven to me how much I am not worth anyones time. I will be going to summer school now. And never aloud near shows or the computer again. I really just want to die right now. My mom said she would be happy if I tried my hardest and I did. I hate yelling and I don’t want to hear her crap. I give myself enough crap. And I get enough crap from my friends. I fucking have enough...
I get upset over stupid things. I cry over nothing. I smile when nothings funny. And yet I’m still content. I do things I never should. I don’t follow the rules I follow my morals. And still all is fine in my life. My family’s a mess and so am I. But my music isn’t and that’s all I got.
I’m upset over multiple things right now. Some I have been since this...
““To be nobody but yourself-in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to...”
Don’ waste you’re love on me. It could be used so much more. I bet I’m so annoying with my doom and gloom all the time. But I’ll never grow out of it. Everyone should realize you’ll give up eventually on me. So why waste you’re time.
People still annoying me. A little less. Feeling nostalgic. I hate love. I don’t care if that’s retarded. I’ll love it and hate it at times. Mainly I hate it. Even if he does like me and we do start dating my heart will be everywhere but where it should be. I hate the thought of me being a horrible whatever. I hope he likes me. But I hope he doesn’t even more in a way. It...
Wow ok. I have been so fucking annoyed lately. Yesterday more than normal. And today so far even worse. Why are people so obnoxious now? Ughh. War in class today whooo i can’t wait to crawl on the floor and get paper bombed at. Um so Sarah is officially my savor for bamboozle left haha. Nicole, her, and me are gonna go up there in a motor home and camp out so we don’t have to pay for...
So today I thought of a brilliant plan to get me to the show on the 6th. I really hope it works out for multiple reasons. It gives me butterflies in my tummy thinking about it. But again for multiple reasons. I’m happy that I actually like all the bands preforming too. Today I went on a myspace deleting frenzy I never use myspace but it was so clogged I almost had 400 friends and I was like...
I hate when you’re not sure if someone likes you. It sucks it just makes you so exhusted from wondering about it. But it is also fun to try and guess and get thrown off and stuff. I hope this one is right. It would be nice to try to like someone and go on a date again. And now I have to go to the febuary 6th show. Because I want to see him and see if I still like him. And try and figure out...
theonlybailey: "from letters i re-write explaining... →
That started as an actual post turned into a poem/song. But really I need out of here. I hate california. It’s almost as bad as having to live in Las Vegas. But their is nothing to do here. I’m dying on the inside. And no one is watching. No one notices. My heart lies everywhere but here. Here it’s been put in a grave. It was planted there when it first started I’m finally...
I need a new start. I need a change. I need a move. And I need to forget you. Everything here is a reminder of what I lost. And what I have loved. But now it’s just knifes. Stabbing me in the back constantly. And I need to see the world. Not be held captive. I don’t want to let this city eat me alive. Like you have let it to you. It’s just deserts and wastelands. Broken dreams to...
theonlybailey: "tell me if I'm wrong or right tell... →
So many good songs with so many good relations to how I feel lately. A Rocket to the Moon ultimiately stuck in my head. I just thought of another band name ‘Lost in a Daydream’. One of these days I need to see if these names are already taken so if I want to use them I won’t have to get sued :]. Adam Sandler movie night with the freaks I call my friends. Tomorrow not sure but I...
theonlybailey: Without a single place to be I'm... →
I wish I had more to say. Lately it’s been like a blank page of the same stuff. Nothing too exciting going on in my life. The next couple weeks are finals. I need to read a book. I’m starting drivers lessons soon. That means by october I will have a car most likely a cheap retarded one that I can drive myself only to shows. How amazing. That means I can fully not worry about my mom...
That quote is so true. I never want to grow up. It seems like no fun. I just wish I was older. There’s stuff to worry about maybe more important than the things now. But I think I could take on those issues better. I could deal with everything how I wanted to and not be bossed around. I can decide everything I want/ That’s the truth of this matter. I just want to be able to run my own...
“Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up, these are the best days of our...”
– The Ataris (via iamelliotjames)
theonlybailey: OMFG ATL IS PLAYING BAMBOOZLE LEFT... →
A face in the crowd A blur in my mind I’ll take a bow If you have the time Don’t take this the wrong way Because it’s all in good terms You just don’t know what you say But it makes me wiggle like worms You stood in a line You chatted and hugged With a glass of wine And tugged and tugged Stay back and watch with glazed eyes While I sing and play you in all the wrong ways...
so long
I haven’t posted in so long. Not much of an update. I wrote a new song I’ll post soon. It’s not that good but it’s a little something for the time to pass. The new year has come and it still feels old.